I was born in beautiful hilly Clarksburg, W.Va. in '51, moved to Winsted, Connecticut where my favorite nearby places were Barkhamstead Reservoir and People's Forest where we would picnic and go swimming a lot.  I really think the magic of the forest influenced me forever because I have always loved the woods, no matter what the season.  Also, a small book of art stories influenced me to love the colors of nature in words, stories and poems called 'Art Stories Book I' Copyright 1932 by Scott, Foresman and Co.  I started to love Art - Baby Stuart by Anthony Van Dyck, In the Garden by Mary Anderson, The Toy Shop Window by Norman Rockwell.  Through the years my love for reading books of poems and stories increased.  I started writing poetry and stories in the fourth grade and have ever since. 

Growing up mostly in the 60's, I was influenced by the Hippie Movement, the Jesus Movement, and eastern thought.  I wandered through a bit of the flower power stuff, eastern thought, the occult and I ended up with becoming a Christian after almost joining a coven.  For me that is where my path changed and I found my truth and happiness to grow out of the pain of a horrific childhood of sexual and physical abuse.  It has taken many years of counseling but I am doing very well now.  My poetry keeps changing as I grow more in wisdom, and going through many trials such as our daughter having many, many emotional difficulties, losing our 2nd house, then losing my first husband in a car accident, the loneliness of widowhood, re-marriage, step-kids, and finally breast cancer.  I can say for sure that my anchor was my faith.

Through the Inflammatory Breast Cancer, size 7 cm, they didn't expect me to live but with the love of family, friends, caring doctors, nurses, and God, I got through it.  I'm still here which amazes the doctors.

I now live on a farm we call Go-Pher Wood Farm (tongue in cheek), and we have 48 acres of land.  It is my dream come true to be able to raise our own meat, vegetables and have many wild flowers around. It is a wonderful atmosphere to write poetry, and a lot of my poetry reflects the nature around me, also the struggles of the mentally ill, (I have a dissociate disorder, PTSD, and my daughter has PTSD, and Severe Depressive Episodes with psychosis.  She is doing well now also having found a medication that helps greatly).  Also I love to write about the characters up here in the North Country of NH, struggles with love and relationships, about my faith.  I have a book out titled "In the Great North Woods" A Poetry Collection for sale on PublishAmerica.com and Amazon.  Please see my site www.freewebs.com/pamthepoetess.



Love to all ----

Here's a couple poems -
re my journey through cancer
After a while I came to terms with my cancer diagnosis and decided to fight and take one day at a time like the Lord says.

To see who has been previously had a feature page here
Through My Window
click below.



If you would like to have your work exhibited Through My Window please make a submission,
or e-mail me at vcw.freedom@juno.com.
For comments or just to let me know that you stopped by to look through,  please sign my Guest Book on the index page, Through My Window.
&

Are a Part of the Creative Outlet

A little history and some wonderful poems from this sensitive and courageous soul can be an inspiration to many.

This page was last updated on: March 28, 2008

Through My Window

Through My Window

&

Are a Part of the Creative Outlet

For comments or just to let me know that you stopped by to look through,  please sign my Guest Book on the index page, Through My Window.

If you would like to have your work exhibited Through My Window please make a submission,
or e-mail me at vcw.freedom@juno.com.
To see who has been previously had a feature page here
Through My Window
click below.


Come Meet Pamela Mcbean
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Pamela MacBean resides with her husband in the North Country of New Hampshire.  She lives on a small family farm called Go-Pher Wood. Pam's  been published in many e-zines & journals including Ancient Paths, Adagio Verse Quarterly, Open Minds Quarterly, Ascent Aspirations, A Hudson View, among others. A collection of poetry titled 'In the Great North Woods' has been published by PublishAmerica. She is a breast cancer survivor.

She was a 2006 Pushcart Prize Nominee.

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I was born in beautiful hilly Clarksburg, W.Va. in '51, moved to Winsted, Connecticut where my favorite nearby places were Barkhamstead Reservoir and People's Forest where we would picnic and go swimming a lot.  I really think the magic of the forest influenced me forever because I have always loved the woods, no matter what the season.  Also, a small book of art stories influenced me to love the colors of nature in words, stories and poems called 'Art Stories Book I' Copyright 1932 by Scott, Foresman and Co.  I started to love Art - Baby Stuart by Anthony Van Dyck, In the Garden by Mary Anderson, The Toy Shop Window by Norman Rockwell.  Through the years my love for reading books of poems and stories increased.  I started writing poetry and stories in the fourth grade and have ever since. 

Growing up mostly in the 60's, I was influenced by the Hippie Movement, the Jesus Movement, and eastern thought.  I wandered through a bit of the flower power stuff, eastern thought, the occult and I ended up with becoming a Christian after almost joining a coven.  For me that is where my path changed and I found my truth and happiness to grow out of the pain of a horrific childhood of sexual and physical abuse.  It has taken many years of counseling but I am doing very well now.  My poetry keeps changing as I grow more in wisdom, and going through many trials such as our daughter having many, many emotional difficulties, losing our 2nd house, then losing my first husband in a car accident, the loneliness of widowhood, re-marriage, step-kids, and finally breast cancer.  I can say for sure that my anchor was my faith.

Through the Inflammatory Breast Cancer, size 7 cm, they didn't expect me to live but with the love of family, friends, caring doctors, nurses, and God, I got through it.  I'm still here which amazes the doctors.

I now live on a farm we call Go-Pher Wood Farm (tongue in cheek), and we have 48 acres of land.  It is my dream come true to be able to raise our own meat, vegetables and have many wild flowers around. It is a wonderful atmosphere to write poetry, and a lot of my poetry reflects the nature around me, also the struggles of the mentally ill, (I have a dissociate disorder, PTSD, and my daughter has PTSD, and Severe Depressive Episodes with psychosis.  She is doing well now also having found a medication that helps greatly).  Also I love to write about the characters up here in the North Country of NH, struggles with love and relationships, about my faith.  I have a book out titled "In the Great North Woods" A Poetry Collection for sale on PublishAmerica.com and Amazon.  Please see my site www.freewebs.com/pamthepoetess.



Love to all ----

Here's a couple poems -
re my journey through cancer
After a while I came to terms with my cancer diagnosis and decided to fight and take one day at a time like the Lord says.

In her own words-
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You can feel Pamela's connection to the earth through her vivid descriptions of nature's beauty. More than that though-- her words reach inside and touch what is fragile in the human race and yet they also show the strength that we can find there, deep within. It is soul searching, in its pain and sometimes startling in its simple beautiful honesty.

I have been a big fan ever since I discovered her poetry --maybe in 2004 when I first published her work.

-VCW

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Click below to find out more about
Pamela's Poetry Book
"In the Great North Woods."
Finding the Id

"On a scale of 1 to 10"
a monotone voice
swirled around me
at 2:00 am ER stint.
Pain doing crunches,
In-out-in-out
Within left breast;
EKG wired.
Beeping echoes.
Sleeve squeezing.
Tiny aspirin.
Nursed by proxy.
Doctor by the book.
Cheery line
"Your heart is fine."
2 days later
cancer stared me in the face
in morning's mirror check;
talons gripping my breast,
deeply, deeply
like January's icicles
sharpened by winter's shriek.
Friday the 13th 
Diagnosis
An iconoclasm of life,
Inflammatory Breast Cancer.
And as survival marched into place,
with one foot after another,
Stepping over cracks,
I joined the front lines.

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One Minute After Midnight

I shed my skin
No more slithering in dust clouds
Upon a belly filled with fear
Moon shadows
Etched on spring's alabaster mural
Are more violet than black
This voiceless night that steals the stars;
My bruised spirit healing
Moving closer to light than darkness.
Upon the incense of prayers
I rise above earthly woes,
This area where wings soar
Within lamb's wool clouds,
Within blue ether,
Whether of bird or angels
I know not,
Soft wings touch my face.
In my hand a pastel butterfly
Of life trembles; my today.
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SKY SCRAPERS

As a flower laced day slowly softens into evening
within dew dampened grasses, tiny cricket serenades
quiver the air like the heart beat of summer.

Shadows of shade beneath the vine entwined apple tree
breathe coolness upon my skin
while I sit gazing at the sky scrapers

sliding into their airy positions on currents of the wind.
A harsh whistle does not call them to their tasks
like the ever rolling paper mill

across the snaking Connecticut river,
but the swirling, singing swallows
know the rhythms of the day.

And as the sun showers a crimson grand finale
upon a horizon gold dipped,
they fly to their branchy beds,

tucking heads under feathered wings,
while dragonflies start their whirring dusk patrol,
and small bats swoop from under the eaves

into the twilight hazed skies,
scraping dinner from darkening heights.
So begins the evening shift.



(Published in Ascent Aspirations)

PLANTINGS

My mother craved dirt,
not pickles, not ice cream,
dirt, so the doctor said
eat coffee grounds
when she carried me
& like a watery waif,
I bounced along